insecurities part 5. The Truth About Being Set Apart
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When I was little I never felt insecure with who I was. It wasn't until seventh grade, where the insecurity of being different had exposed itself. I had a fresh group of friends and a new perspective. I was the jokester of the group, making people laugh and sacrificing my value for the sake of others. Despite the newfound popularity, I felt alone, and those fresh friends were never by my side. I always observed them hanging out without me and it caused me to question my sense of self. That's when I started watching porn (something I struggled with for almost ten years), and comparing myself to others, constantly ashamed and deceiving my voids;
Being delivered from both comparison and pornography, I was always still the outsider of relationships; it’s as if God picked me up, and dropped me off where I didn’t feel like I was welcomed. It is mandatory for us to constantly find relationships that resonate with Christ, but there was that little voice in my head saying, “ you are not like them.” And, there was a sense of pride that went with the thought-” ‘cause God made us unique, right? We’re different.”
We’re made to be different. I’d never fully grasp how there was always this wall of feeling lonely. It came to a point where I wouldn’t understand why it took so long for me to find real friends. That’s when I fully learned that we’re called to be Set Apart. .
God taught me a couple of lessons about dealing with feeling alone, and why being set apart is never a burden, but an opportunity.
He waits for you to talk to Him
Everytime I call my grandpa, I always look forward to his enthusiasm. “ Hey, Little Bit! How you doin’?” followed by verbal kisses and him telling me his day. It makes me feel good ‘cause I can’t see him, but when I call him, he looks forward to it, and we have a good relationship. What didn’t resonate was how God speaks to me. All the time! Our Heavenly Father constantly talks, and when we listen, grasp on His Word and His Love for us He Dances. Childlike and purehearted, our Father’s still, quiet voice all of a sudden gets louder. He stands and knocks constantly; all for our relationship (Rev.3:20).
What makes it hard for us to hear Him sometimes is our stance with others. He tells us who we are with that still, small voice; and we’re not listening to Him because we’re so worried of what others are thinking of us. Their empty voice somehow overpowers His unwavering love, so when we’re set apart, He’s reminding us that we’re to rely on every bit of God’s Word (Matthew 4:4).
You have a Calling
Esther, Naomi, Joseph and Christ Himself all had to prepare for their Calling. Esther’s Destiny was to save Jews from execution- Naomi moved back to her hometown, helping restore Ruth’s name. Joseph was sold into slavery, only to be freed and save his family after doing God’s work; and Jesus himself? We need not talk about that one
*winks.
God has a distinct Purpose for our lives. He called us to be in the world, not of it (Romans 12:1). He promised us that He finish every good work in us; with that being said, He doesn’t give us the promise easily. We walk through trials and tribulations and He watches how we handle each one.
Every person in the bible are all examples of how we’re brought to His Glory: By preparation. God created you to be uniquely like minded so that you can save Nations in a way that only you could, Naomi could, Joseph could, Esther could.
Everything Takes Time
I found it hard to be myself. It was weird holding genuine relationships because of how superficial it seemed. On one hand, I was scolded for puffing my chest, yet on the other hand, their reaction to who I was were similar. I was always in my head, I’d get nervous, and feed on everyone’s initial reaction, not thinking about how they’d feel. Now, I don’t condone what “fresh friends” were doing, but now I see why they weren’t as into my relationship as I thought. What God wanted me to know was that every good thing takes time, and by believing who God says you are, you don’t have to try. Everything right comes on time, expressing God’s Love that isn’t fully understood (Eph. 3:20) . The most sincere relationships are a process.
The Celebration of being Set Apart means that we have access to God, and that we are uniquely made and different intentionally. You are the only you on this earth. In the Kingdom of God, you are set apart. You don't have to compare yourself to others. I love how on our journey we can be encouraged and encourage other believers, and we don't have to be competitive!